The list is younger than it sounds
The modern birthstone list was set by the American National Retail Jewelers' Association in 1912 and has been amended a handful of times since — tanzanite joined December in 2002, spinel joined August in 2016. Older lists exist and disagree with it. None of that makes the stone less of a gift; it just means “traditional” is a marketing word rather than a historical one.
Which ones need care
Opal (October) and pearl (June) are the two that genuinely need protecting: no ultrasonic cleaner, no prolonged water, and store them away from harder stones. Emerald (May) is usually oil-treated and dislikes heat. Everything else on this list takes ordinary wear.